What It Was Like to Write My Book — And What I Learned Along the Way

Writing my book was one of the hardest and most rewarding things I’ve ever done.

When I first sat down to start writing, I was excited, and feeling driven.  I imagined it would feel inspiring and maybe even easy at times — after all, I was writing about what I know well: transformation, resilience, and what it takes to keep showing up for yourself when life feels heavy. But the truth is, writing this book turned out to be far more cathartic, healing, and challenging than I ever expected.

There were moments when the words flowed through me like a river. I lost track of time, sometimes for hours. It was like the book was being written through me.  And then there were the other moments: the times I stared at a blank screen, feeling stuck, or worse, crying reliving some experiences, or grieving my current ones, and questioning why I ever decided to do this. There were times I felt overwhelmed by self-doubt, and if anyone would even ready it.  I  knew my story mattered, and I kept going.

What surprised me most was how much I grew through the process — and not just as a writer. Writing this book invited me to dig deep into my own heart, to revisit some of my most vulnerable experiences, and to share them in a way that felt real and honest.

The Healing Power of Writing

For me, writing was deeply healing. As a heart-based entrepreneur and someone who’s dedicated to helping others heal and grow, I believe in the power of sharing our stories. But when you’re writing your own, it can be confronting.

Halfway through writing, my partner of seven years broke up with me. It was unexpected, and the grief was profound. There were weeks when I honestly didn’t know if I could keep going with the book, much less anything else. Every time I sat down to write, with the grief so heavy, I didn’t know how I would get words on the page.

But something inside me — that quiet, determined voice — reminded me why I started. Writing became my way of processing that loss and moving through my grief. Every chapter I finished felt like a small victory, a way of reclaiming myself and my voice. I wasn’t writing about the breakup - I was writing through it.

Writing reminded me that healing isn’t linear. There were days I felt raw and exposed, and other days I felt proud of my courage. Over time, though, I began to see the book itself as part of my healing journey. I was literally living my book, and reminding myself of my own tools. By the time I typed the last sentence, I could hardly believe I had done it. But I had.

Lessons From the Process

As hard as it was, I’m glad I did it. It stretched me in ways I never imagined, strengthened my own resilience, and allowed me to heal, use my tools and share them in real time.

Here’s what I learned:

1. You don’t have to feel ready to start.
If you wait until you feel perfectly ready to do the big, brave thing in your heart, you may never begin. I started my manuscript a couple times, and sometimes put it aside for months, or years.  But progress came from showing up anyway — even on the hard days - and knowing in my heart of hearts, that it had to be written.

2. Your story matters.
One of the biggest obstacles I faced was the voice in my head asking, Who are you to write this? Who will care? But the truth is, someone out there needs to hear what you have to say. Sharing your story isn’t just about you — it’s about them, too.

3. Resilience is built in the small, everyday choices.
I didn’t finish my book in one inspired burst, but in many bursts, some not feeling inspired at all. I found I wrote best by creating chunks of time away from home, or at home in a special writing nook I created where that was all I did there. I wrote even when it was messy, even when it was hard, even when it was inconvenient. That’s how resilience is built — one small choice at a time.

4. Creativity and grief can co-exist.
This may have been the biggest surprise of all. Even in my heartbreak, I could still create something meaningful. In fact, the process of creating became a lifeline. It kept me going.  

For the Heart-Based Entrepreneur

As someone who works with other heart-based entrepreneurs, I know how easy it is to put your own dreams on hold while you care for everyone else. We pour so much energy into our clients, our families, and our businesses that we forget to nourish some parts of ourselves.

If writing a book (or starting your own creative project) has been on your heart, let this be your permission to start — even if life feels messy. Maybe even especially. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to take a step.

Your words have the power to inspire, to heal, and to connect others. And if you let them, they’ll heal you too.

Looking Back

Now, on the other side of the writing process, I can honestly say: it was worth every tear, every sleepless night, everything I had to say no to, so I could say yes to my book. Writing this book made me stronger, more self-compassionate, and more aligned.

I can’t wait to share it with the world — and I hope it reminds every reader that no matter what you’re going through, your story matters, and you are capable of more than you know.

If you’re in the messy middle of your own journey right now, keep going. Even if it feels impossible today, you just might surprise yourself tomorrow.  Someone is waiting for what you have to share.   

I’d love to connect. You can find me on Linked In,  on my website at confluencecoaching.life, or find my book BURN: Struggle to Strength, A Woman’s Guide to Reclaiming Herself on Amazon starting July 16th, 2025..